I am often asked how I am able to stay home while having a minister husband. It's not just one thing that allows us to make it work; it's several. Some of it is a mindset, some of it certain principles we live by, and some of it is just how we spend our money. Here are the reasons and ways we make it work. I hope something in here may be helpful or encouraging to everyone who reads. And maybe it'll inspire someone to be bold and alter their circumstances in order to stay home, save money, etc.
1. I still work. Yes, I bring home some bacon. It's not always a lot and it varies. But I've chosen a work form home business, which allows me the flexibility to work around what matters most to me: God & family. And I sell a product that is consumable, which gives me residual income even when I'm not actually working. And since I've been doing it for 12 years, I have a solid customer base.
2. We sacrifice luxuries. We understand and practice needs vs wants. So things like cable/satellite TV, eating out often, getting my nails done, regular Starbucks trips & recreational shopping are all things we don't have/do.
3. I don't succumb to social & cultural expectations for being a mom. I don't pay for professional pictures often for our kids and family. I'm not very extravagant in festivities such as birthday parties & holidays. I stay away from Pinterest for the sake of my time and not getting sucked into that vortex. I don't feel my kids have to look like they have stepped out of an ad when we leave the house. We chose to wait on finding out gender of our babies to keep ourselves from spending. All of these supposed standards are great marketing for certain businesses but tempting snares for moms who feel they need to comply.
4. We don't have car payments. Neither of our cars have keyless entry, each is at least 10 years old, and there is nothing fancy about our sound systems. However, they run well, are safe and are worth a little extra from time to time to keep in good shape.
5. We use meal plans (most of the time). This helps with more intentional grocery shopping. It can trim extras and unnecessary spending.
6. I coupon and check best deals when I can. I don't sit for hours in front of the computer or stalk the $1 store to horde Sunday papers. I also don't stock up needless items. But I do check the match ups each week before I go shopping to see if there are great prices on what we will be eating and our regular staples.
7. We give at least 10% of our income to our church and have other consistent ways we give. We've learned that having an open hand allows for being gifted and blessed; a tight fist has no room for receiving more.
8. I nursed our kids for at least a full year, made homemade baby food and cloth diapered.
9. We make household cleaners, detergents, etc. I was super skeptical of these at first. I've definitely come around and am really glad that we tried them out. We make our own laundry detergent, cloth diaper detergent, wipe solution, disinfectant (rubbing alcohol & water or vinegar & water), dusting solution, and probably a few others I can't remember off the top of my head. Did you notice none of these recipes are original to me??
10. We hardly ever buy our kids toys. And yes, that includes birthdays & Christmas. Considering how generous our families & friends are and how much joy they get out of buying gifts for them, we restrain ourselves to stick to things that are either essentials (like socks, underwear & shoes) or educational. The few toys we've gotten them were mostly from Goodwill! And guess what? They adore them and think they're so cool. I'll ride that wave as long as I can.
11. We use a budget! This is a big one. It's one of those annoying things to set up that yields huge dividends down the road. We used Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey as our guideline and have adapted it digitally to our liking. This keeps us in check in each area of spending, giving & saving. We like telling our money where to go instead of it going without our say. We are also debt free! This saves us from "stupid tax" (AKA interest) coming out of our budget every month and gives us more freedom with our spending.
12. We are grateful. Abundantly and consistently grateful. We never want to hear ourselves complaining about stuff, especially. We give credit where it's due to God for always providing.
13. We keep it all in perspective. We no longer have car lust or gadget envy like we may have had as teens & young adults. We know what is required to run our home and complete our work & tasks. If that's all we have, it is quite enough. If we ever doubt, we take in some humble pie by reminding ourselves what we have in comparison to most people in the world. And in those places, the people can have more joy & hope than we do! Good lesson.
14. I always evaluate cost vs value before committing to something like a service or regular expense. For example, I could go to a gym to work out, and it may even have child care included that's super good for my kids. However, I evaluate the demand in my day, the cost from my fun money each month, and the time I'm gone around getting there and ready to work out. Instead, I find ways to work out from home that are effective and suit my style. Then I crack my own whip and get to work!
15. We even save money when it comes to our dogs. In a society where pets can be valued equally as children for some, these costs can get quite outrageous. We care about our dogs dearly and would be quite sad if they died. However, we did not pay more than $60 to adopt either of them. I have checked out vets to find the best rates for necessary services. And when they do die, which will happen, there will be no fancy memorial or place for them in the back yard. Plus, we have an approximate dollar amount we will not exceed in the event they need a lifesaving measure. As much as it hurts to say goodbye, it hurts worse to go to financial extremes to save them when they are just animals and possibly no guarantee of it working. Once they're gone, they will not have conscious thought of who we are. That's hard to type even for this pragmatist!
This list is not completely exhaustive or meant to be a lecture to anyone. I just want to share if it can be helpful. I know there are many hearts of women who want to get back in the home and feel stuck. Probably the best thing to do first is to PRAY! Then go from there.
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