I've been reading Jon Acuff's Start, which instructs us how to be on the path to awesome. Part of the process, which is 4 stages, is Learning. Wow! You have to learn to be awesome. What a concept! It seems that some people just ARE awesome. But it turns out, most people who seem awesome naturally to us typically had a less than remarkable journey there. I think this applies well to your sex life. Don't you think your husband would squeal with joy (on the inside, at least) if you told him that you wanted to walk the path to awesome in your sex life?? I mean, stop and think about it. Play out that scenario. He would be utterly thrilled and need nothing else for Christmas. You want to learn how to be awesome at sex with him. Shake your head yes. Thank you.
So on our way to awesome, as sexually charged Christian wives who want to please our husbands wholeheartedly, we need to break down those 5 aspects I listed in my first post. Here's #1.
1. God decided that we LEAVE & CLEAVE to one another when we get married.
Gen 2:24, 25 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
These 2 verses in the beginnings of the Bible depicting the new world God laid out are rich & full of meaning to marriage. First of all, it does clearly define that marriage is between a man & a woman. No matter what man's laws may say, God's law is tried & true & timeless. And notice it's just 1 man and 1 woman. So even if you think you are only married to 1 man, be sure that your list of loyalties doesn't keep growing so as to minimize the attention you can give to each. It's God first, husband second & kids third. Everyone else comes after in order of importance in your life. Secondly, it gives us a glimpse into how marriage was to be without sin.
"…a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,"
This shows that men are to separate from their parents and create his new home where he intimately connects with his wife on every level. So guys, living in the basement forever into your adulthood will just show some ladies that you aren't ready for your own home. It is solid when a man is on his own and can hold down the fort without his mother's help. This means he's got some responsibility and experience in taking care of his home. Pride in your living space and how you live are very attractive to most women. Some of our needs are domestic support & security. This factor fulfills 2 of our top 5 needs.
"…and they will become one flesh."
We all know what this means! It's the big finale to the actual marriage. Once this connection is made you are "united" and made to be inseparable. In 1 Cor 6 Paul speaks of how even if a man unites himself with a prostitute that they are one and references this verse in Gen. In God's eyes, this completes the union and seals the deal. This is probably also why a couple can annul a marriage if no consummation has taken place. It was only on paper but not legitimate due to lack of uniting as one. Along with this, Genesis speaks to Eden in her curse after the fall that her "desire will be for [her] husband and he will rule over [her]." So when we are married, we are agreeing to be united as one flesh with our husbands. It's part of the deal. It's the END of the deal being sealed. It's our DUTY to unite with our husbands. And furthermore, if you weren't hot on that whole uniting part and become one flesh, you shouldn't have said yes. Isn't that just unfair? And lying? But God has made it to where we desire our husbands. This should be the case but isn't always. However, is your desire to be with your husband important enough to you? Because let me tell you that it is to God. And if God is first in your life, you'll honor him with your commitment to your husband. Also in 1 Cor 7, Paul speaks of our bodies being each other's in a marriage. He goes on to instruct us to only abstain for the sake of prayer and with a mutual decision being made about it. And only "for a time" since our flesh is weak and temptation can take over if we abstain too long. So if it's been more than a week since you've done the deed, chances are your man is chomping at the bit or releasing his tensions elsewhere in some other fashion. And then we get mad about it?? Hmmmm…that's unfair. And if he's scared to even ask for it, that's so unfortunate. Give him the green light! Let him savor you in all of your womanly beauty and goodness. God said you were GOOD! He meant it.
"The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
Only in 2 circumstances of your life are you unashamed to be naked (or should be) - early childhood and in marriage. This nakedness is a true sense of vulnerability. You are literally laid bare and exposed to the maximum extent. But the last part of that verse is often the most difficult and sometimes impossible for some people (women, mainly) to achieve: "…and they felt no shame." I would give great amounts of money (if I had it) if it would solve this problem for women. But it's a problem that stems from somewhere deep and has no real dependence on how someone looks naked. Women of all shapes, sizes & fitness levels can still struggle with this. Read an article from some supermodel and how she feels about herself. We may read that and think, "What is her problem? If I had her body…." And we begin to judge. But this insecurity and refusal to be vulnerable in nakedness is from Satan and how he's conditioned us to be ashamed of our naked bodies. Now I love all the ways we are trying to educate and encourage young girls and women to embrace their bodies. I don't think we need to show anyone exposed to get that across, really. I think that only leaves more room for judgment and criticism. If your body is less than perfect, you gotta find ways to like it or improve what is within your power. Our weakness only makes God's power look mightier. This area included. Let His power pour over your insecurity and wash it away. Trust me. Your hubby isn't taking notes on misplaced dimples, stretch marks from babies or puberty and any extra chub in different areas of your physique. And if he is, it's probably his "thing" in embracing exactly who his wife is naked. It's his body, as 1 Cor 7 also shares. As his is yours. And he definitely wants you to embrace his naked body! (Think candlelight. It's remarkably forgiving!)
1 Cor 7:3, "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." Yes! I receive this command with joy. And persistence. I wouldn't say we're still in the Learning stage with this one on our path to awesome because we've been diligently working on this for almost 10 years. However, if you lose practice, you have to pick it back up and work at it again. All marriages go through fluxes and valleys where the sparkle factor really isn't there. But God is good and wants your marriage to be a joyful experience for you, as well as a telling example of how godly marriage IS the best way.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
First thing's first - know your man!
Yes, please know your man. If you aren't an expert, THE guru, on your husband, you are slacking in your vows and your role as his wife. This should sting if it's true. We all have times when we haven't been as diligent in putting him first only after God and need a shot in the arm to get back on track. This is part of the joy of being his wife! You alone know the intimate intricacies of your husband in all aspect's of your marriage. You should know what makes him tick from feeling affirmed (SUPER important for men) to sexual desire & preferences to his favorite meal. It's YOU who holds this power. And it's YOU who has promised to fulfill what he needs. Don't underestimate your power. And don't let the power go to your head and become leverage. That isn't godly and can be detrimental to the integrity of your marriage.
So what do men need? Lots and lots of good books on this. I haven't read them all. I have read His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Your Marriage by Willard F. Harley, Jr. This book helps to give you a love bank perspective while pairing it with realizing the top 5 needs of your man. Of course, the reverse is also true. So this book helps with both sides of this relationship. There's also Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, which gives a biblical perspective at the core of what God says we need from our spouses. Sounds simple enough, right? Women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. However, in our highly feminist culture where women haven't need men for decades (supposedly), the perspective is skewed. And even some of us with the best intentions with being independent types have not allowed the Holy Spirit to really guide us in our treatment of our husbands.
Grab a book or your Kindle or whatever. Invest in some good education on the basics of men. Part of teaching sex ed was learning the differences about men & women sexually. Most I knew, but some I didn't. It was fascinating! Learning more about him should excite you in the possibilities for your marriage.
We know God made us differently for good reasons. We should try to adhere to what he made us to be. The 5 things I listed in my first post on Christian Women's Sexuality include what we are to be in the marriage relationship. Read through those. (I'll go grab a cookie & some chocolate milk while I wait…)
Okay. Get it? I'll dissect those more in depth in posts to come.
But your man. God gives SO much to our men. And it's not just the good stuff. Or should I say easy stuff. It's all GOOD. Or at least for our good. God made men with several innate differences that make him sexually opposite of us.
1. He's HIGHLY visual. This is why you'll oftentimes see very attractive women with average men. We don't respond the same to the physical attributes. This is also why men like to have sex with the lights on. They are wired to be stimulated with their eyes. That is typically where it begins after the brain initiates the start of arousal. He wants to see you…all of you…naked…and wanting him! Who cares if you have stretch marks or dimples on the back of you or your silky smooth skin, which he LOVES, isn't as tan as it used to be? Or who cares if your girls aren't as perky as before nursing your babies? They are HIS! This excites him and affirms him as your husband when you let him partake of your awesome female form that is solely his. Please don't underrate this. If he tells you you're hot, believe it and accept that. Don't poo poo on his complement. The fact that you choose to lay down next to him every night means something. Let him take you in visually.
2. He's got HIGH sensory acuity to touch. This goes both ways. He wants to touch you and you to touch him. One thing I realize for men is that we girls are sometimes too modest with our husbands during sex. I'm sorry, ladies. This is our one glimpse into what it was like for Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden. To be comfortable with someone while both completely naked is something they experienced regularly before sin. Simmer on that thought. You can get a sample of what God had for us before sin. That's powerful! Now enjoy it. Be comfortable with being naked with your man and let each other enjoy what God has given you. Touching can be simple or complex. These are personal preferences that you should both know about each other!
3. Which leads me to the fact that your husband is NOT a mind reader. Most men don't have that intuition like we ladies do. Please don't let your husband persist in the same things over and over if it's not what you want. In his mind, if he doesn't know it's broken, he won't do anything to fix it. This goes for any part of your marriage. But so many women, because we're so ladylike (BOO), just grin and bear it. But what you're doing, essentially, is deceiving him and lying to him about his way of showing love to you. And yes, that's a BIG way men show love. Let him! And help him to get really good at showing it to YOU. This is where you have to be very candid and say words that may sound dirty in any other context. Please don't hold back. Be respectful in how you present it. But be crystal clear on what you'd like him to do for you. If you persist in allowing something that isn't working, you only grow in bitterness and resentment, which is completely unwarranted, and possibly damage your husband's masculinity once he finds out he's been subpar in the sack. That's the LAST place you want him to feel less than.
4. Men are insatiable, so it seems. Yes, they want it…a lot. But who cares? A respectful man won't paw at his wife to pester and guilt her into having sex. Or just tick her off in the process. What I want to say is that your husband should NEVER have to paw at you for sex. This is his #1 need from you. I mean, think about it. We take care of our kids' needs even when it's zero fun and the last thing you want to do, right? I'm not saying you should suck it up every time and bear it. I'm suggesting you change your thought process about sex and why it's vital to a healthy marriage and a blissfully happy husband. Once you can start thinking differently, it won't be such a chore when the times come that he wants it and you aren't quite up to it. Your mindset will be that this is your responsibility but also your pleasure to meet this need of his. I challenge you to make up your mind to never say no to your husband just because you're tired or not in the mood or he didn't vacuum like he said or whatever. (Obvious reasons for not having sex are understood. He really shouldn't ask if you're sick or just had a baby.) And for those who already stand by that should start to be proactive in taking care of your man. My sister got some wise advice from an older nurse she worked with back in NW AR. "Let me tell ya about taking care of your man. Every few days you'll start to notice he's a little grumpy or blue. That's when you take him to the bedroom and show him a good time. Then a few days later, the same will happen and you do your thing." She was so WISE! She actually insisted that my sister be AWARE of her husband's moods (just like we so often demand of our husbands with us) and act accordingly to assist in making it all better. One great bonus of all this is that when he's super satisfied sexually, you'll probably have a much more helpful spouse around the house. And he'll probably not be so turned off by the idea of watching the kids so you can have some alone time away from home. Try it. I dare you!
5. Men are sensitive. Yes, yes, yes, they are. It's just not the same as us. Their sexuality is their badge of masculinity. If they aren't rocking it, they aren't as confident in their manhood. I touched on this some above in #3. Please don't allow your husband to doubt his ability to be YOUR man and YOUR private pleasure toy. That boosts his spirits to a place we can't imagine. Plus, when his masculinity is damaged, he will find a place to mend it. And many times, it's not with you. Guard his sexuality and heart, ladies. They are precious.
There's probably so much more. Sex is really complicated. But over time in a healthy marriage, it should become a delicious side dish that is effortless and freeing. Where else can you be the bad girl you could never be in high school & college, right? Unleash your sexuality on your husband and his smile will never be bigger. I don't want to be tactless, but there's much to be said about bringing your A-game to the marriage bed. So much included in that. We'll unload it later!
So what do men need? Lots and lots of good books on this. I haven't read them all. I have read His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Your Marriage by Willard F. Harley, Jr. This book helps to give you a love bank perspective while pairing it with realizing the top 5 needs of your man. Of course, the reverse is also true. So this book helps with both sides of this relationship. There's also Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, which gives a biblical perspective at the core of what God says we need from our spouses. Sounds simple enough, right? Women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. However, in our highly feminist culture where women haven't need men for decades (supposedly), the perspective is skewed. And even some of us with the best intentions with being independent types have not allowed the Holy Spirit to really guide us in our treatment of our husbands.
Grab a book or your Kindle or whatever. Invest in some good education on the basics of men. Part of teaching sex ed was learning the differences about men & women sexually. Most I knew, but some I didn't. It was fascinating! Learning more about him should excite you in the possibilities for your marriage.
We know God made us differently for good reasons. We should try to adhere to what he made us to be. The 5 things I listed in my first post on Christian Women's Sexuality include what we are to be in the marriage relationship. Read through those. (I'll go grab a cookie & some chocolate milk while I wait…)
Okay. Get it? I'll dissect those more in depth in posts to come.
But your man. God gives SO much to our men. And it's not just the good stuff. Or should I say easy stuff. It's all GOOD. Or at least for our good. God made men with several innate differences that make him sexually opposite of us.
1. He's HIGHLY visual. This is why you'll oftentimes see very attractive women with average men. We don't respond the same to the physical attributes. This is also why men like to have sex with the lights on. They are wired to be stimulated with their eyes. That is typically where it begins after the brain initiates the start of arousal. He wants to see you…all of you…naked…and wanting him! Who cares if you have stretch marks or dimples on the back of you or your silky smooth skin, which he LOVES, isn't as tan as it used to be? Or who cares if your girls aren't as perky as before nursing your babies? They are HIS! This excites him and affirms him as your husband when you let him partake of your awesome female form that is solely his. Please don't underrate this. If he tells you you're hot, believe it and accept that. Don't poo poo on his complement. The fact that you choose to lay down next to him every night means something. Let him take you in visually.
2. He's got HIGH sensory acuity to touch. This goes both ways. He wants to touch you and you to touch him. One thing I realize for men is that we girls are sometimes too modest with our husbands during sex. I'm sorry, ladies. This is our one glimpse into what it was like for Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden. To be comfortable with someone while both completely naked is something they experienced regularly before sin. Simmer on that thought. You can get a sample of what God had for us before sin. That's powerful! Now enjoy it. Be comfortable with being naked with your man and let each other enjoy what God has given you. Touching can be simple or complex. These are personal preferences that you should both know about each other!
3. Which leads me to the fact that your husband is NOT a mind reader. Most men don't have that intuition like we ladies do. Please don't let your husband persist in the same things over and over if it's not what you want. In his mind, if he doesn't know it's broken, he won't do anything to fix it. This goes for any part of your marriage. But so many women, because we're so ladylike (BOO), just grin and bear it. But what you're doing, essentially, is deceiving him and lying to him about his way of showing love to you. And yes, that's a BIG way men show love. Let him! And help him to get really good at showing it to YOU. This is where you have to be very candid and say words that may sound dirty in any other context. Please don't hold back. Be respectful in how you present it. But be crystal clear on what you'd like him to do for you. If you persist in allowing something that isn't working, you only grow in bitterness and resentment, which is completely unwarranted, and possibly damage your husband's masculinity once he finds out he's been subpar in the sack. That's the LAST place you want him to feel less than.
4. Men are insatiable, so it seems. Yes, they want it…a lot. But who cares? A respectful man won't paw at his wife to pester and guilt her into having sex. Or just tick her off in the process. What I want to say is that your husband should NEVER have to paw at you for sex. This is his #1 need from you. I mean, think about it. We take care of our kids' needs even when it's zero fun and the last thing you want to do, right? I'm not saying you should suck it up every time and bear it. I'm suggesting you change your thought process about sex and why it's vital to a healthy marriage and a blissfully happy husband. Once you can start thinking differently, it won't be such a chore when the times come that he wants it and you aren't quite up to it. Your mindset will be that this is your responsibility but also your pleasure to meet this need of his. I challenge you to make up your mind to never say no to your husband just because you're tired or not in the mood or he didn't vacuum like he said or whatever. (Obvious reasons for not having sex are understood. He really shouldn't ask if you're sick or just had a baby.) And for those who already stand by that should start to be proactive in taking care of your man. My sister got some wise advice from an older nurse she worked with back in NW AR. "Let me tell ya about taking care of your man. Every few days you'll start to notice he's a little grumpy or blue. That's when you take him to the bedroom and show him a good time. Then a few days later, the same will happen and you do your thing." She was so WISE! She actually insisted that my sister be AWARE of her husband's moods (just like we so often demand of our husbands with us) and act accordingly to assist in making it all better. One great bonus of all this is that when he's super satisfied sexually, you'll probably have a much more helpful spouse around the house. And he'll probably not be so turned off by the idea of watching the kids so you can have some alone time away from home. Try it. I dare you!
5. Men are sensitive. Yes, yes, yes, they are. It's just not the same as us. Their sexuality is their badge of masculinity. If they aren't rocking it, they aren't as confident in their manhood. I touched on this some above in #3. Please don't allow your husband to doubt his ability to be YOUR man and YOUR private pleasure toy. That boosts his spirits to a place we can't imagine. Plus, when his masculinity is damaged, he will find a place to mend it. And many times, it's not with you. Guard his sexuality and heart, ladies. They are precious.
There's probably so much more. Sex is really complicated. But over time in a healthy marriage, it should become a delicious side dish that is effortless and freeing. Where else can you be the bad girl you could never be in high school & college, right? Unleash your sexuality on your husband and his smile will never be bigger. I don't want to be tactless, but there's much to be said about bringing your A-game to the marriage bed. So much included in that. We'll unload it later!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Sex Begins In the Brain
Yes, it does. Sex starts in the brain. Your perception of sex will color every other aspect of sex no matter how good your lover is. This is tough and difficult to discuss for some women, not to mention tough and difficult to overcome negative perceptions of sex. So let me say this before I begin the rest of my thoughts:
- If you have ever had a traumatic sexual experience, you will need to find help through this or else you may never reach a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship with your spouse.
- If you had an influence in your childhood who portrayed sex as negative in any way, you will have to figure out how to reprogram your brain to think of sex as good, a gift from God, for you & your spouse.
- If you do not enjoy sex physically, you could be one of the unfortunate few whose body doesn't respond to sexual stimulation. Please talk to your doctor and make sure your husband is aware so that you are not deceiving him "for his sake".
Please don't read into anything about my being insensitive if you are in one of the groups above. With that on the table, I can begin.
Your sexuality has been developing ever since you started becoming aware of things like the differences in men & women, the interaction of those who were romantically involved (namely, your parents), pregnant women, and so forth. Then your exposure widened into relationships on TV, possible dating of your own as a teen, and unfortunate scenes in movies. If you had a strong father or father figure who expressed healthy affection towards you, you are probably the best off! My dad would constantly tell my sister & me how beautiful we were even if we had just rolled out of bed in our night shirts with hair disheveled and morning breath raging. He hugged us, gave us kisses and affirmed us constantly as lovely young women. That is POWERFUL. Even during my homely days as a tween & young teen I never really had any complexes about my looks or weight. If you've seen those pictures, you know how big of a deal that is! I was morphing through puberty…
If you did not have that kind of influence, then you relied more on books, stories from others, seeing friends' dads love them genuinely, or went without. I'm really, really sorry for that. And this is a huge reason why dads are SO important to our children! They help both boys & girls develop their sexuality in a healthy way when shown what a real man is like. We moms are also quite important, but that's understood. Most families are falling apart not because mom left. Unfortunate but true.
But even if you were not privileged to be guided by a great dad, you can restore your mindset on sex. Most books on changing your thought patterns suggest that your mind needs to have something to chew on. So if you take a negative thought away, it must be replaced with a positive one. So start there. Make a list even. Take that list, decide it's Satan's way of tainting this God-given gift of sex, and burn it! Then make a new list with as many items as the previous. Hang it on your mirror, put it in your journal, tape it to the dashboard or visor in your car, or post it on the fridge! Ladies, it must be present in your day to day in order to reset your mind. Otherwise, those negative thoughts you supposedly burned will resurrect from the ashes and make their way back to your subconscious. DO NOT DEFEAT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN START! If sex is something you want more of, better of in your life, then please hear me out and find a way to bombard your brain with the good thoughts on sex.
Maybe your list looks like this:
Negative
1. He always wants it.
2. It just feels dirty.
3. I don't feel comfortable.
4. I still don't know why he wants "that" all the time.
5. I'm so tired.
6. I can't forgive myself for _____________.
7. I can't forgive him for ___________.
8. He STILL hasn't helped me with any of the housework.
9. I don't know if he even likes to see me naked.
10. He always wants the lights on!
Sound familiar? Now burn it (yes, burn it!) and make a new list on a fresh, clean sheet of pretty paper. 1-10
Positive
1. He is always really excited when I tell him yes.
2. He is absolutely lovey dovey the entire next day!
3. He seems to listen so much better the next few days afterward.
4. I feel sexier with candlelight.
5. When I do feel up to it, it is really fun!
6. I feel more comfortable when the kids aren't home.
7. He does always remember our anniversary/my birthday.
8. It is kind of fun when we have pillow talk.
9. He does give really great shoulder/foot massages.
10. He is good about having music play.
These may seem silly to you. But when we think about sex with our mates, it's hard not to be a little teenager feeling and giddy, right? That's GOOD! You don't want that to go away. Flirtatious behavior is a GREAT type of foreplay and keeps you longing for each other.
Now that you've made your list, post it high & low & all over to stay in your brain regularly throughout the day. Maybe you'll add on. But be sure to let that list wash over your thoughts incessantly. And take some time to pray over your list and ask God to help you develop that sense of longing and sensuality for your man, not to mention to truly erase the negative thoughts. Maybe it needs to be part of your quiet time in the mornings or before bed. Remember God wants you to have healthy sex life! You are fulfilling his plan for marriage and sustaining the bond that no one should ever sever.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Whew! I'll be back for more later. This is THE perfect time of year to get your sex life on track because it's typically cold outside. Who wants to stay warm???
Happy Thanksgiving!
- If you have ever had a traumatic sexual experience, you will need to find help through this or else you may never reach a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship with your spouse.
- If you had an influence in your childhood who portrayed sex as negative in any way, you will have to figure out how to reprogram your brain to think of sex as good, a gift from God, for you & your spouse.
- If you do not enjoy sex physically, you could be one of the unfortunate few whose body doesn't respond to sexual stimulation. Please talk to your doctor and make sure your husband is aware so that you are not deceiving him "for his sake".
Please don't read into anything about my being insensitive if you are in one of the groups above. With that on the table, I can begin.
Your sexuality has been developing ever since you started becoming aware of things like the differences in men & women, the interaction of those who were romantically involved (namely, your parents), pregnant women, and so forth. Then your exposure widened into relationships on TV, possible dating of your own as a teen, and unfortunate scenes in movies. If you had a strong father or father figure who expressed healthy affection towards you, you are probably the best off! My dad would constantly tell my sister & me how beautiful we were even if we had just rolled out of bed in our night shirts with hair disheveled and morning breath raging. He hugged us, gave us kisses and affirmed us constantly as lovely young women. That is POWERFUL. Even during my homely days as a tween & young teen I never really had any complexes about my looks or weight. If you've seen those pictures, you know how big of a deal that is! I was morphing through puberty…
If you did not have that kind of influence, then you relied more on books, stories from others, seeing friends' dads love them genuinely, or went without. I'm really, really sorry for that. And this is a huge reason why dads are SO important to our children! They help both boys & girls develop their sexuality in a healthy way when shown what a real man is like. We moms are also quite important, but that's understood. Most families are falling apart not because mom left. Unfortunate but true.
But even if you were not privileged to be guided by a great dad, you can restore your mindset on sex. Most books on changing your thought patterns suggest that your mind needs to have something to chew on. So if you take a negative thought away, it must be replaced with a positive one. So start there. Make a list even. Take that list, decide it's Satan's way of tainting this God-given gift of sex, and burn it! Then make a new list with as many items as the previous. Hang it on your mirror, put it in your journal, tape it to the dashboard or visor in your car, or post it on the fridge! Ladies, it must be present in your day to day in order to reset your mind. Otherwise, those negative thoughts you supposedly burned will resurrect from the ashes and make their way back to your subconscious. DO NOT DEFEAT YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN START! If sex is something you want more of, better of in your life, then please hear me out and find a way to bombard your brain with the good thoughts on sex.
Maybe your list looks like this:
Negative
1. He always wants it.
2. It just feels dirty.
3. I don't feel comfortable.
4. I still don't know why he wants "that" all the time.
5. I'm so tired.
6. I can't forgive myself for _____________.
7. I can't forgive him for ___________.
8. He STILL hasn't helped me with any of the housework.
9. I don't know if he even likes to see me naked.
10. He always wants the lights on!
Sound familiar? Now burn it (yes, burn it!) and make a new list on a fresh, clean sheet of pretty paper. 1-10
Positive
1. He is always really excited when I tell him yes.
2. He is absolutely lovey dovey the entire next day!
3. He seems to listen so much better the next few days afterward.
4. I feel sexier with candlelight.
5. When I do feel up to it, it is really fun!
6. I feel more comfortable when the kids aren't home.
7. He does always remember our anniversary/my birthday.
8. It is kind of fun when we have pillow talk.
9. He does give really great shoulder/foot massages.
10. He is good about having music play.
These may seem silly to you. But when we think about sex with our mates, it's hard not to be a little teenager feeling and giddy, right? That's GOOD! You don't want that to go away. Flirtatious behavior is a GREAT type of foreplay and keeps you longing for each other.
Now that you've made your list, post it high & low & all over to stay in your brain regularly throughout the day. Maybe you'll add on. But be sure to let that list wash over your thoughts incessantly. And take some time to pray over your list and ask God to help you develop that sense of longing and sensuality for your man, not to mention to truly erase the negative thoughts. Maybe it needs to be part of your quiet time in the mornings or before bed. Remember God wants you to have healthy sex life! You are fulfilling his plan for marriage and sustaining the bond that no one should ever sever.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Whew! I'll be back for more later. This is THE perfect time of year to get your sex life on track because it's typically cold outside. Who wants to stay warm???
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Christian Women & Their Sexuality: Part 1
I've decided to dust off my blog and get back into sharing some things that may be helpful or insightful for some. I have many things that weigh on my heart regularly, but I only have expertise on some things. And, as most of you know, I have expertise on SEX! So here's where I begin. Exciting, right? This is mainly a line of posts mainly for Christian women and what God has to say about our sexuality and how to apply it in our marriages and/or lives. And there's more to sexuality than just the physical manifestation. This is going to be fun! So make sure you say a prayer before you start reading these and find your Bible when necessary. God has some great things for us to know about who were are as sexual beings.
Firstly, for us Christian wives out there, did you know there was a study done in the recent past that showed that the most sexually satisfied group of people in the US were married Christian women??? Really? Yes! (See: This guy's blog) I think the stereotype for this group would be quite the opposite. However, this goes to show that sex and sexual satisfaction isn't all in the endorphins and Oxytocin rush. Sex begins in a place most unbelieving people think unnecessary when acting sexually - the brain. Sex is not just a basic instinct as some Hollywood types would suggest. Sex is not just a reaction to a stimulation either. Of course, it can be, but that is taking only a sliver of what sex really is and tossing out the rest of the fulfilling genius God put behind the physical act. Sex was designed by God to be a way of connecting on the most intimate levels for humans. One way to show this and prove that human copulation isn't just physical is that humans are the only created beings on the planet who can enjoy sex face to face, eye to eye, body to body. (We can discuss the creative alternatives to this another time. That's not the point.) Another way to show that human sex is different from animal sex is that both the male and female human can experience pleasure in the sexual act. For female animals, this isn't so. It's strictly an act to promote procreation to continue the family line. And it's anything but enjoyable for her. Plus, choosing a mate is based solely on how physically superior he is to produce similar offspring. As humans, we have found that having connections beyond the physical before the physical creates a better level of intimacy.
So beginning in the brain, ladies, let's take a look into how we should be thinking about sex for our husbands before ever acting on it.
Your thoughts about sex have been shaped since you were a little kid. And depending on the types of influences you had as a child your views of sex had/have developed. This is where it can get tricky and can take some serious Holy Spirit work to get you on the same page as God (and your man!) when it comes to fulfilling your marriage vows and pleasing your man.
*Just a side note, we'll only be scratching the surface today and then break these down as we go. I do have 2 boys to wrangle in the process! Time is precious.
1. God decided that we LEAVE & CLEAVE to one another when we get married. This means a lot; mainly, you are now a wife before being a daughter (or friend or sister or employee). Did everybody read that? It means your priority changes to having your husband 2nd ONLY to God and your relationship with Him. So the process begins of training yourself to be a wife. Many times easier said than done. It means your honey is now your #1 advocate and co-problem solver and recreational companion and so on. If you have a lot on your mind, it should probably be shared with him...FIRST. This one sometimes means taking a blazing hot machete to the apron strings or whatever other binding you have that is misplaced before him.
2. God designed us to be his helpmate. Now this old-fashioned word can mean many things to many people. Here's the actual definition: a companion and helper, a spouse. We HELP our husbands in so many ways. We are really good at helping! And most of us find great joy and satisfaction in helping others. Unfortunately, because of certain cultural pressures and influences, we sometimes help everyone else before our husband. Not healthy. And this doesn't mean that he needs your constant attention. If you married well, he's a big boy and can handle himself. But there is a special list of needs that is reserved solely for YOU to meet. And trust me, he will be grateful you HELPED him!
3. God designed us to submit to his authority. Uh, oh. She said it! She just went all 1950s on us! No, I didn't. I went all biblical and godly on you. Sometimes we let culture and popular beliefs interfere with our faith and skew principles that are timeless and trustworthy. This being one. Please realize that most people read that at first glance defensively thinking, "I don't need a man to submit to. I'm plenty competent to take care of myself." Yes, you are…most of you. :-) However, when you decide to submit to God's authority and then to the vow of marriage, you have bound yourself to relinquish all that sass and necessary self-reliance to the health and wellness of your marriage. Not that it disappears. If you know me, you realize that ain't ever happening! But it means that I know where my allegiance lies. I trust that God has put in place a perfect harmony of companionship between Monte and me. We have an incredible friendship within our marriage, and his job is to protect our marriage and family by leading and guiding us. Who am I to take away his masculinity and his God-given job?? Anyone want to question God's wisdom? Have fun with that. If you can't trust your husband, then question from where that symptom is derived. Is it an intimacy problem? Has he broken your trust? Do you need some counseling? Did you marry for the wrong reasons? Whatever it is God is powerful enough to work through it and make it a beautiful redemption story if both of you are willing.
4. God designed us to enjoy each other sexually. Yes. The icing on the cake of marriage! If this doesn't make you smile, then please keep reading this blog! Sex can be the pinnacle of awesomeness of physical relationships. Please don't miss out. And I'm not just talking about the pleasure. Part of why I want to talk about this so much is because I truly believe there is not enough sex happening in Christian marriages (or marriages period). It's like super glue for your vows. A healthy sex life is the litmus test for the health of your marriage. Obviously, circumstances like health, age, etc. can impede/limit sex in a relationship. But those are going to be implied in my discussion.
5. God designed us to be married our entire lives. So much on this one. We'll break this down much more later.
And with that, I leave you with well wishes and hopes for your return as we tackle this complicated subject. My hope is that you find ways to express your feelings to your husband and to God about sex in marriage and how it will significantly increase the joy in your life as a result.
Firstly, for us Christian wives out there, did you know there was a study done in the recent past that showed that the most sexually satisfied group of people in the US were married Christian women??? Really? Yes! (See: This guy's blog) I think the stereotype for this group would be quite the opposite. However, this goes to show that sex and sexual satisfaction isn't all in the endorphins and Oxytocin rush. Sex begins in a place most unbelieving people think unnecessary when acting sexually - the brain. Sex is not just a basic instinct as some Hollywood types would suggest. Sex is not just a reaction to a stimulation either. Of course, it can be, but that is taking only a sliver of what sex really is and tossing out the rest of the fulfilling genius God put behind the physical act. Sex was designed by God to be a way of connecting on the most intimate levels for humans. One way to show this and prove that human copulation isn't just physical is that humans are the only created beings on the planet who can enjoy sex face to face, eye to eye, body to body. (We can discuss the creative alternatives to this another time. That's not the point.) Another way to show that human sex is different from animal sex is that both the male and female human can experience pleasure in the sexual act. For female animals, this isn't so. It's strictly an act to promote procreation to continue the family line. And it's anything but enjoyable for her. Plus, choosing a mate is based solely on how physically superior he is to produce similar offspring. As humans, we have found that having connections beyond the physical before the physical creates a better level of intimacy.
So beginning in the brain, ladies, let's take a look into how we should be thinking about sex for our husbands before ever acting on it.
Your thoughts about sex have been shaped since you were a little kid. And depending on the types of influences you had as a child your views of sex had/have developed. This is where it can get tricky and can take some serious Holy Spirit work to get you on the same page as God (and your man!) when it comes to fulfilling your marriage vows and pleasing your man.
*Just a side note, we'll only be scratching the surface today and then break these down as we go. I do have 2 boys to wrangle in the process! Time is precious.
1. God decided that we LEAVE & CLEAVE to one another when we get married. This means a lot; mainly, you are now a wife before being a daughter (or friend or sister or employee). Did everybody read that? It means your priority changes to having your husband 2nd ONLY to God and your relationship with Him. So the process begins of training yourself to be a wife. Many times easier said than done. It means your honey is now your #1 advocate and co-problem solver and recreational companion and so on. If you have a lot on your mind, it should probably be shared with him...FIRST. This one sometimes means taking a blazing hot machete to the apron strings or whatever other binding you have that is misplaced before him.
2. God designed us to be his helpmate. Now this old-fashioned word can mean many things to many people. Here's the actual definition: a companion and helper, a spouse. We HELP our husbands in so many ways. We are really good at helping! And most of us find great joy and satisfaction in helping others. Unfortunately, because of certain cultural pressures and influences, we sometimes help everyone else before our husband. Not healthy. And this doesn't mean that he needs your constant attention. If you married well, he's a big boy and can handle himself. But there is a special list of needs that is reserved solely for YOU to meet. And trust me, he will be grateful you HELPED him!
3. God designed us to submit to his authority. Uh, oh. She said it! She just went all 1950s on us! No, I didn't. I went all biblical and godly on you. Sometimes we let culture and popular beliefs interfere with our faith and skew principles that are timeless and trustworthy. This being one. Please realize that most people read that at first glance defensively thinking, "I don't need a man to submit to. I'm plenty competent to take care of myself." Yes, you are…most of you. :-) However, when you decide to submit to God's authority and then to the vow of marriage, you have bound yourself to relinquish all that sass and necessary self-reliance to the health and wellness of your marriage. Not that it disappears. If you know me, you realize that ain't ever happening! But it means that I know where my allegiance lies. I trust that God has put in place a perfect harmony of companionship between Monte and me. We have an incredible friendship within our marriage, and his job is to protect our marriage and family by leading and guiding us. Who am I to take away his masculinity and his God-given job?? Anyone want to question God's wisdom? Have fun with that. If you can't trust your husband, then question from where that symptom is derived. Is it an intimacy problem? Has he broken your trust? Do you need some counseling? Did you marry for the wrong reasons? Whatever it is God is powerful enough to work through it and make it a beautiful redemption story if both of you are willing.
4. God designed us to enjoy each other sexually. Yes. The icing on the cake of marriage! If this doesn't make you smile, then please keep reading this blog! Sex can be the pinnacle of awesomeness of physical relationships. Please don't miss out. And I'm not just talking about the pleasure. Part of why I want to talk about this so much is because I truly believe there is not enough sex happening in Christian marriages (or marriages period). It's like super glue for your vows. A healthy sex life is the litmus test for the health of your marriage. Obviously, circumstances like health, age, etc. can impede/limit sex in a relationship. But those are going to be implied in my discussion.
5. God designed us to be married our entire lives. So much on this one. We'll break this down much more later.
And with that, I leave you with well wishes and hopes for your return as we tackle this complicated subject. My hope is that you find ways to express your feelings to your husband and to God about sex in marriage and how it will significantly increase the joy in your life as a result.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Two new chapters
So we'll be introducing the next Baby Hunt sometime early June. We're excited and ready! In good Monte & Amy fashion, we did not find out the gender of this baby either. However, both of us are totally convinced it's a girl. Symptoms are different and I've only gained 15 lbs! I was about 20 at this point with Gibson. I know it's not exact science, but that's our gut instinct.
Also, I've been really stepping up my game and working, working, working my Mary Kay business. I keep asking myself, "Why did I ever stop being proactive with it?" I have to kick myself and then move on. It's amazing what a little hard work and perseverance will do for you. Maybe it's because now I've got a different perspective of hard work with being a mom. Maybe it's because it's the American way. I don't know. But whatever it is I like it and I'm pumped! Yea!
Also, I've been really stepping up my game and working, working, working my Mary Kay business. I keep asking myself, "Why did I ever stop being proactive with it?" I have to kick myself and then move on. It's amazing what a little hard work and perseverance will do for you. Maybe it's because now I've got a different perspective of hard work with being a mom. Maybe it's because it's the American way. I don't know. But whatever it is I like it and I'm pumped! Yea!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Politics or Morality?
I've been perplexed lately. Politics play a huge part in American society. In fact, next to only money and religion, it's quite an emotional topic. One part of politics, especially in America, is the general assumption that our representatives act with morality in mind. Not so. In fact, most polls show that Americans now realize how out of touch our federal government truly is. Americans are living on tight budgets and are scared to enjoy they're earnings as they did in years past all due to poor choices of government over years and years of so called "service." As any good coach would say, you've got to get back to basics to become stronger. That means fundamentals.
I played lots of sports and that was always the biggest part of practice. Despite their elementary nature, they were key and MANDATORY to improve our game. When we weren't focusing on the fundamentals of the sport, our game would fall apart. It's the same principle with politics. Our country has gotten so comfy & cozy with our federal government slowly but surely creeping it's greedy and controlling fingers into our personal lives due to the supposed "benefits" we receive in return. CRAP! It's a trap and a joke. I am much more capable of taking care of myself and my family and even others in need around me than the federal government. Why, oh why, are there still thousands and thousands of charities who have to help those in need when our government claims to use our tax dollars to do so? If they do such a great job, why are charities still in such high demand? Why? It all comes down to morality. Those in power in DC don't use morality in their justification for using our tax dollars toward programs that are intended to aid those in need. The basis of these programs sounds awesome and so helpful; yet the government has proven over and over again that more revenue and more power only breeds its own. More power and money = more government positions, reelection emphases overshadowing the people's needs, and more distance between the minds of representatives and the public. It's been repeated time and time again. Moral restraint is not practiced across the board in our economy or in DC. The rhetoric claims that morality is the basis on which they propose and legislate. However, Americans have gotten wise to their double talk. Our president speaks from both sides of his mouth on a regular basis, as well as Pelosi, Michelle, and the rest. And that isn't just Democrats I speak of. There are plenty of Republicans who do the same. My main beef with the Obamas right now is that they live lavishly and spend exuberantly even though they both speak of the "hard times" we're all facing and how we all have to "tighten our belts." That's hardly been lived out by our leaders. I haven't heard of one super wealthy representative resign his/her salary and pension. Most people in the House & Senate DON'T need to be paid. Many are independently wealthy. The two Democratic leaders are both extremely wealthy and still use our tax dollars to subsist in DC. Pelosi flies around on military jets on personal business and puts it on our tab. Are they living out what they've been preaching? No! It all boils down to morality. They are deluded with their sense of self and entitlement for their "service." If they truly want to be a public servant, they need to quit allowing themselves to be pampered. They live lavishly and then over promise meeting needs and wants of Americans just to get reelected. It's all bogus.
When you need to get down to basics, you have to go back to the very beginning at square one, so to speak. For America, it's the founding documents, which clearly state the LIMITED role of government. We have strayed so far from the basics, which were brilliantly compiled by those who were truly oppressed by their government. It's a shame that we choose not to learn from history. So many other countries have been ruled the way ours is trying (without direct mention but with subtle, deliberate action) that have fallen or are truly broken. Why would we allow our great nation that is based on true freedom to crumble under the guise of receiving "benefits" from our federal government? Again, it's a trap. True freedom means they can't tell me what to do and that I'm responsible for my actions, which includes caring for my own and myself.
The federal government in the US has now started attacks on free speech that share opinions other than those of the current administration. Now that is NOT an attribute of a free country. Freedom of speech means freedom of speech no matter what is said. If you don't like it, don't listen. Simple. It's your choice. It's called freedom. If you don't want your kids to eat McDonald's, tell them no. It's your choice. It's not anyone else's fault when YOU make a CHOICE. I can't say this enough. Our society has gotten so used to passing blame and getting lawsuit happy. True freedom means personal responsibility. It's a moral principle that was infused into our documents for good reason. Our leaders took human nature into account when designing our great Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and Constitution. They knew what would inspire individuals to greatness in spite of their shortcomings. Morality was to overcome those. And our country has allowed for great strides in moral accomplishment and personal freedom - abolition of slavery, minorities as equals, etc. However, our government started to get a bit too extravagant in its attempt to appease the masses and started a huge decline opposite of morality & personal freedom - abortion, social security, income taxes, prohibition, etc. All of these are under the guise of "it's your right" to have (fill in the blank) or it's the government's responsibility to (fill in the blank). No, it's your right to choose to do it for yourself if you want it. The only rights we are guaranteed in our founding documents are the right to life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness along with the rights to bear arms, speak freely, practice religion, and so on. There are no rights to not be offended, have any of your bills paid, or have a job. Yet, organizations out there are super touchy on suing anyone who steps on toes to make a scene and get publicity without taking the responsible and moral stance to forgive and/or ignore. I don't like offensive words, but every American has the right to say them no matter what. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it deserves to be legislated against. Grow up!
Morality and personal freedom have to be in a great balance for our country to be at peace. However, immorality is praised and rewarded with millions. The government so graciously gave us the "right" to terminate a pregnancy even though our First Lady wants to be able to tell us what we can and can't feed our kids. I'm sorry. That's a perfect example of morality and personal freedom not being in balance. It's quite a delicate balance, too. If you've ever been exposed to the pain of a woman who has experienced an abortion and is contemplating suicide for her choice, you would think much, much differently about this "right." It's a selfish and savage right that only puts a bandaid on the lack of personal respobsibilty and morality that should have been taught. I have spoken to several women who are in a very hard situation due to unwanted/unplanned pregnancies. Abortion never cures the problems. In most cases, it just compounds them and leaves a woman broken and confused. It's amazing the gratitude of a woman who could think of no other option but abortion for her specific situation who was enlightened with factual scientific and medical information, as well as a loving and warm welcome despite her choices, once her baby is born. The payoff of a hard choice is blissful. It's not an easy road but so worth it. Why do we push the "right" to terminate instead of the right to be informed of all the options? It's approached from a terribly political perspective and not one from a moral sense of freedom.
That was just an example that is a soapbox of mine. I know, I know. You've heard it before. The gist of my rant is that if we don't teach each child to be responsible and reteach each adult who can't seem to live responsibly as opposed to just pushing rights and entitlements, our country will descend to a selfishly motivated sespool of "rights" with nothing to show for it but millions of discontent and whining babies regardless of age. It all starts at home and in your personal choices. I'm aiming to do my part. I hope you are, too! Our country depends on it.
I played lots of sports and that was always the biggest part of practice. Despite their elementary nature, they were key and MANDATORY to improve our game. When we weren't focusing on the fundamentals of the sport, our game would fall apart. It's the same principle with politics. Our country has gotten so comfy & cozy with our federal government slowly but surely creeping it's greedy and controlling fingers into our personal lives due to the supposed "benefits" we receive in return. CRAP! It's a trap and a joke. I am much more capable of taking care of myself and my family and even others in need around me than the federal government. Why, oh why, are there still thousands and thousands of charities who have to help those in need when our government claims to use our tax dollars to do so? If they do such a great job, why are charities still in such high demand? Why? It all comes down to morality. Those in power in DC don't use morality in their justification for using our tax dollars toward programs that are intended to aid those in need. The basis of these programs sounds awesome and so helpful; yet the government has proven over and over again that more revenue and more power only breeds its own. More power and money = more government positions, reelection emphases overshadowing the people's needs, and more distance between the minds of representatives and the public. It's been repeated time and time again. Moral restraint is not practiced across the board in our economy or in DC. The rhetoric claims that morality is the basis on which they propose and legislate. However, Americans have gotten wise to their double talk. Our president speaks from both sides of his mouth on a regular basis, as well as Pelosi, Michelle, and the rest. And that isn't just Democrats I speak of. There are plenty of Republicans who do the same. My main beef with the Obamas right now is that they live lavishly and spend exuberantly even though they both speak of the "hard times" we're all facing and how we all have to "tighten our belts." That's hardly been lived out by our leaders. I haven't heard of one super wealthy representative resign his/her salary and pension. Most people in the House & Senate DON'T need to be paid. Many are independently wealthy. The two Democratic leaders are both extremely wealthy and still use our tax dollars to subsist in DC. Pelosi flies around on military jets on personal business and puts it on our tab. Are they living out what they've been preaching? No! It all boils down to morality. They are deluded with their sense of self and entitlement for their "service." If they truly want to be a public servant, they need to quit allowing themselves to be pampered. They live lavishly and then over promise meeting needs and wants of Americans just to get reelected. It's all bogus.
When you need to get down to basics, you have to go back to the very beginning at square one, so to speak. For America, it's the founding documents, which clearly state the LIMITED role of government. We have strayed so far from the basics, which were brilliantly compiled by those who were truly oppressed by their government. It's a shame that we choose not to learn from history. So many other countries have been ruled the way ours is trying (without direct mention but with subtle, deliberate action) that have fallen or are truly broken. Why would we allow our great nation that is based on true freedom to crumble under the guise of receiving "benefits" from our federal government? Again, it's a trap. True freedom means they can't tell me what to do and that I'm responsible for my actions, which includes caring for my own and myself.
The federal government in the US has now started attacks on free speech that share opinions other than those of the current administration. Now that is NOT an attribute of a free country. Freedom of speech means freedom of speech no matter what is said. If you don't like it, don't listen. Simple. It's your choice. It's called freedom. If you don't want your kids to eat McDonald's, tell them no. It's your choice. It's not anyone else's fault when YOU make a CHOICE. I can't say this enough. Our society has gotten so used to passing blame and getting lawsuit happy. True freedom means personal responsibility. It's a moral principle that was infused into our documents for good reason. Our leaders took human nature into account when designing our great Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and Constitution. They knew what would inspire individuals to greatness in spite of their shortcomings. Morality was to overcome those. And our country has allowed for great strides in moral accomplishment and personal freedom - abolition of slavery, minorities as equals, etc. However, our government started to get a bit too extravagant in its attempt to appease the masses and started a huge decline opposite of morality & personal freedom - abortion, social security, income taxes, prohibition, etc. All of these are under the guise of "it's your right" to have (fill in the blank) or it's the government's responsibility to (fill in the blank). No, it's your right to choose to do it for yourself if you want it. The only rights we are guaranteed in our founding documents are the right to life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness along with the rights to bear arms, speak freely, practice religion, and so on. There are no rights to not be offended, have any of your bills paid, or have a job. Yet, organizations out there are super touchy on suing anyone who steps on toes to make a scene and get publicity without taking the responsible and moral stance to forgive and/or ignore. I don't like offensive words, but every American has the right to say them no matter what. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it deserves to be legislated against. Grow up!
Morality and personal freedom have to be in a great balance for our country to be at peace. However, immorality is praised and rewarded with millions. The government so graciously gave us the "right" to terminate a pregnancy even though our First Lady wants to be able to tell us what we can and can't feed our kids. I'm sorry. That's a perfect example of morality and personal freedom not being in balance. It's quite a delicate balance, too. If you've ever been exposed to the pain of a woman who has experienced an abortion and is contemplating suicide for her choice, you would think much, much differently about this "right." It's a selfish and savage right that only puts a bandaid on the lack of personal respobsibilty and morality that should have been taught. I have spoken to several women who are in a very hard situation due to unwanted/unplanned pregnancies. Abortion never cures the problems. In most cases, it just compounds them and leaves a woman broken and confused. It's amazing the gratitude of a woman who could think of no other option but abortion for her specific situation who was enlightened with factual scientific and medical information, as well as a loving and warm welcome despite her choices, once her baby is born. The payoff of a hard choice is blissful. It's not an easy road but so worth it. Why do we push the "right" to terminate instead of the right to be informed of all the options? It's approached from a terribly political perspective and not one from a moral sense of freedom.
That was just an example that is a soapbox of mine. I know, I know. You've heard it before. The gist of my rant is that if we don't teach each child to be responsible and reteach each adult who can't seem to live responsibly as opposed to just pushing rights and entitlements, our country will descend to a selfishly motivated sespool of "rights" with nothing to show for it but millions of discontent and whining babies regardless of age. It all starts at home and in your personal choices. I'm aiming to do my part. I hope you are, too! Our country depends on it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Gibson's almost 1!
So the child is walking and almost one. He's just shy of a full year old! Oh, my. How did it fly past so quickly? I'm remembering to seize each moment and ponder them in my heart. Ah! I love this kid! Motherhood has brought out a huge dose of tenderness in me that I never knew I had. God bless this experience! You are good. I'm also the new VR Program Coordinator for LifeChoices, which means I plan when schools have VR classes and who is teaching them. I still get to teach - a bonus. I love it and don't want to stop. However, I had to give up being a volunteer counseling pregnancy clients. This is good, though, because it's helping taking some financial burden off of Monte.
With his birthday approaching it means that I'm only 4 weeks away from mine. I'll be starting the last year of my twenties. And I love it! Marriage is good, parenting is a daily challenge, Gibson makes my heart flutter and act like a complete sentimental goob, and I am confident that God loves us. I'm on the alert though. It seems at times like these Satan finds a way to trample on my bliss. I'm staying prayed up.
Ironically, my birthday is on the mid-term election day where the USA will probably be changing the landscape of Congress and many governorships across the country. It's exciting! So many are actually paying attention to the politicians and listening and holding them accountable. Yay! That is a great birthday present. Now I'm praying that Christians will do the same with their church leaders and personal faith. I am ready to celebrate real change. Plus, last election day I had surgery after a miscarriage that wouldn't pass. And then the election results rolled in. Very bad day!
My hope for the USA is to be great again by the results of our hard work and personal responsibility. A few basic principles make the USA unique and exceptional - not the people. And they are found in the Constitution, which is an amazing document. Monte & I have read it again in the past few months to make sure we weren't misspeaking when discussing the facts. I encourage everyone else to do the same. It's amazing how many "educated" people get the facts wrong and then spout them all over the airwaves to ignorant & obliging minions. I'll leave it at that; otherwise, I'll get on my soapbox, which will make for a very long blog post!
Our lives are grand and so precious. I'm excited about what is to come and how God will mold me toward His glory.
With his birthday approaching it means that I'm only 4 weeks away from mine. I'll be starting the last year of my twenties. And I love it! Marriage is good, parenting is a daily challenge, Gibson makes my heart flutter and act like a complete sentimental goob, and I am confident that God loves us. I'm on the alert though. It seems at times like these Satan finds a way to trample on my bliss. I'm staying prayed up.
Ironically, my birthday is on the mid-term election day where the USA will probably be changing the landscape of Congress and many governorships across the country. It's exciting! So many are actually paying attention to the politicians and listening and holding them accountable. Yay! That is a great birthday present. Now I'm praying that Christians will do the same with their church leaders and personal faith. I am ready to celebrate real change. Plus, last election day I had surgery after a miscarriage that wouldn't pass. And then the election results rolled in. Very bad day!
My hope for the USA is to be great again by the results of our hard work and personal responsibility. A few basic principles make the USA unique and exceptional - not the people. And they are found in the Constitution, which is an amazing document. Monte & I have read it again in the past few months to make sure we weren't misspeaking when discussing the facts. I encourage everyone else to do the same. It's amazing how many "educated" people get the facts wrong and then spout them all over the airwaves to ignorant & obliging minions. I'll leave it at that; otherwise, I'll get on my soapbox, which will make for a very long blog post!
Our lives are grand and so precious. I'm excited about what is to come and how God will mold me toward His glory.
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