I just love this word - helpmate. So old school and a bible original, it's seems. But it's very simple even if living it out isn't quite so.
We in the USA are in an opposing culture to the traditional sense of marital roles. Although the tide seems to be turning some, which is a breath of fresh air. New studies and editorials are out showing more and more woman understanding that it is not such a bad thing to want a man in their lives. It's also beyond just what a man would do for her encompassing the other side of things in how she can fulfill the longing inside her to please him as well. I wish I could find the link. It was going around on FB. Great read!
Despite the culture, we hold to a higher calling in our love for our Savior. Some women won't get it. Paul warned us that the Lord's wisdom would seem like foolishness to those of the world. So get over it and forget what any of your peers are saying in how independent and smug they may be in regards to how they treat their husbands. That is, if you're letting their perception of you dictate the way you share about your relationship with your man.
So what does it mean to be a helpmate? I'm sure there are tons of ways others, men & women alike, have responded to this. But I'll take a crack at it.
First, I see being a helpmate as being your husband's #1 confidante. This doesn't replace your girlfriends, necessarily. But there are levels and boundaries that are there with your girlfriends that many times shouldn't be there with your husband. And the intensity of your trust and reliance on each other with your deepest hopes & dreams & struggles only grows over time. When these start to deteriorate there is trouble. Your relationship is dangerously close to the brink of failure. There is a certain vulnerability only with him. And I'll speak of vulnerability more next time as an extension of this. There's just too much goodness in that word that revitalizes and secures relationships. In essence, being his confidante means you have to know him through conversation. This can be tricky with busy schedules and tiny people in the house. It has to be intentional. And so much of this can be established before marriage.
Secondly, being his helpmate is meeting his needs; and by needs, I mean sex. This is sometimes a scary undertaking for women who lack in self-confidence, have issue steeling sexy, or maybe those who don't have much of a libido naturally. I get it. But you can be an Oscar winning actress in your seduction skills. Yes, ma'am. Nothing would please him more. Like I said before, you're not always excited to take care of what your kids need, but you do it and know it's part of being their mom. You should at least give your husband the same consideration. Right, girls? Give him the goods. God says to be a cheerful giver, right? (Wink, wink)
This is a general thought on the rest. Be there for him. If he's a good one, he's working hard and pushing past so many obstacles as a man to be faithful and honorable to you. Gird him with the tools to make it easier and enjoyable to come home to your arms and kisses and bed. Help him know that when he opens up he won't be chastised or nagged. Pray for this man who is or will be the father of your children. He desperately wants you to be his #1 cheerleader and supporter. And that's another good word for helpmate - supporter. Since you should be an expert on your man, you will know what he needs when & how. This is a priceless gesture of enduring love to him that he'll hate to ever lose!
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