I'm off topic today on purpose. I wanted to share about something Monte & I do as an expecting couple that so many others don't: let the gender of our babies be a surprise. Trust me. I get why people want to find out. And it's so funny that when we tell people we don't find out ahead of time they immediately begin their list of reasons why they do. And I'm not looking down on anyone for finding out. It's a modern convenience that is safe & generally accepted by just about every OB in the country. But Monte & I have applied some principles to our lives such as "Just because you can doesn't always mean you should." I don't know who to attribute that to, but I do know that it's helped us realize that just because it's permissible or allowed doesn't always make it okay or a wise choice or necessary. Another one is from Scripture: "Do not be anxious about anything; but by prayer and petition, present your requests to God." [Phil 4:6] We have found that allowing simple anxiety or worry to drive us to make decisions isn't wise or helpful.
So here are some reasons why we don't:
1. We just like surprises. In an information age where we are inundated with every tidbit of information we can possibly imagine, it's nice to let that go and allow for this surprise - one of the only true surprises that are left!
2. It's fun! From driving my mom & sister nuts to the excitement of the delivery room, it's a thrilling ride. You can imagine either way if it's a boy or a girl and have fun daydreaming about what life would be like both ways. Of course, you can do this (and we all do) up to the time of the US around 20 weeks.
3. We got NECESSARY baby things at our showers. I can't stress this enough. Instead of getting 25 0-3 mo outfits with monogramming & such to make it unreturnable we got bath towels and diapers and baby bedding and the list goes on. There were a few hopefuls in there who were gutsy enough to buy a gender specific gift (but w/ a gift receipt). Plus, we were ready for subsequent children with our gender neutral supplies.
4. This is THE most convincing to so many guys; it saves you a TON of money! We all know people (yourself included possibly) who just could NOT stand to stay out of the baby stores once the gender was known. We spent so little on our children, and we're very proud of that. There is an epidemic of baby marketing in this country that is very successful but not yielding any actual good benefits to the children. With ever increasing debt out there it's a non-essential to deck out my infant's room on the same level as Beyonce's dressing room. We did not want to be sucked into that temptation.
5. Babies do not, I repeat, do not care what the room looks like, what the clothes look like, if the bedding all coordinates, what color the walls are, or any aesthetic thing you can do to "prepare" for them. It's just like doing all of this for your dog. There's no return on your investment other than your own peace of mind or satisfaction. I'm way too practical. Plus, I don't really enjoy shopping anyway. All babies care about is having mama, being fed, changed & warm and getting to sleep. They don't even care if their lotion is fragranced.
6. It helps us to lean more heavily on the Father. (See Phil 4:6 above) Yes, I believe God enjoys watching us submit anything in our lives that would cause us to be anxious, especially something that may distract us. When people ask us what we're having, we typically just answer, "A baby." They smile and sometimes wait for one of us to say the gender. We then tell them we choose to wait and that God knows and He's got it all under control. And He does. Whether or not the nursery is completed or the clothes are washed & hung in color order. AND this also causes us to be 100% at peace and overjoyed no matter the gender. It's our own kind of spiritual discipline where we relinquish control to God and trust that He does great work!
7. It's old fashioned. In a world that is constantly rushing to progress to the next modern height, we prefer to keep it simple and find joy in being simple. When I share that we're waiting until Baby's birthday to find out, so many who are 50+ are tickled that us youngins' would do something so old school. It's almost like we're trusting them. Kinda funny, but there's a connection made when they hear that we aren't in a hurry.
8. It's a good test of endurance and patience. If we are able to hold out the 9 months to know if Baby is a boy or girl, then there's a good chance we can be patient in other areas. It strengthens our ability to wait and not feel the need to control it.
9. You only have 2 choices. I think I would find out if there were more than 3 options. But since it's boy or girl, I'm okay with waiting. Any normal grandmother is able to deck out a baby's room and closet in no more than 24 hrs. You don't need months and months to plan.
10. Baby showers WITH the baby there! You can open and enjoy the blessings that your friends & family & loved ones are bestowing on your family WHILE the baby gets to be seen and passed around and kissed on. This is how it used to be done and can be more convenient for all of those who find it hard to visit at the hospital or once you go home. We're super busy.
11. No one in the Bible knew unless it was revealed supernaturally by God. That one is mainly for all the people who give me spiritual reasons why they find out. (I love ribbing people!)
That's not an exhaustive list, necessarily. I'm due for my afternoon nap, and my brain is a tad foggy. Please don't find anything offensive. That's not it's intent. And I'm very sarcastic! This is how we've wrapped our brains around it. And I'm not saying I'm right because I'm not you and it's a very personal choice whether or not to find out. We can all just be grateful we can and rejoice in the amazing medical advances made in the past century to allow us all to live pretty normally post partum. If you love Jesus, maybe it should be a matter for prayer if you need to submit to Him more and put your anxieties at His feet. It may help or entertain or infuriate. I release it to you!
No comments:
Post a Comment