God designed us to submit to his authority. Yep. This 1950s concept dates far back to long before this quaint decade in American history. It's not even an American ideal. Dig deeper and see that it's reflected at the beginning of time and then much, much later in God's timeline.
God created this heavenly place on earth called the Garden of Eden and designed it perfectly. How can God do anything other than perfect, right? He's God! In this sacred, lovely, utopian place He formed man. He saw it was not good for man to be alone and proceeded to craft the magnificent form of a woman made from Adam's rib. Adam saw her and agreed with God that she was GOOD! Notice Eve didn't return the sentiment… :-) Kidding, boys. Kidding. But let's face it; women are God's masterpiece to the human eye in comparison. I think most men will agree with me.
So this gorgeous being is here for who? Ah, yes. FOR ADAM. It's not that God said woman would be worthless without him. God didn't deem her life less important because of the parts and role He gave her. No. He saw the perfect union of what the two could be and designated each accordingly. He fashioned man to be the leader of the home - the one who protects, loves, cherishes, and provides. He fashioned the woman to be the helpmate - the one who supports, respects, nurtures, and bears offspring. Now, before you get angry at this, please know that I'm not just spouting off what I think is true. Just ask the Word. It's in there. And I've found that when we relent to be what God designed us to be, we typically find our sweet spot in life. Knowing your place is quite integral to figuring out who you are period. And not all women are cut out to be stay at home moms who knit, bake and host with the greatest of ease. I'm not saying that. I'm sharing how God has made us to interact as a wife, if you are one. Being your husband's equal in worth is absolute. Being his equal in the role you take is not.
Our culture has been slowly emasculating our men; so much so that men are now suffering from depression in staggering numbers not knowing their place in the world or throwing out the idea of marriage completely because they don't want to be the minion of their all-knowing, high-perfomring, supermom of a wife! Again, I'm not slamming women who want to be successful professionally. That can get in the way. However, I'm referring to the way we overreach our boundaries in our role as wives and usurping the authority of our men. Not cool. Sorry, ladies. If you want a happy man, let him be a man. He needs to be take charge of what your household stands for and lives out day to day. He needs to be the protector for what's best for your family. Not that you aren't part of that, but he is the leader. The point man. LET HIM LEAD!
Some of you may have husbands who don't want to lead. They may not have any initiative. They may find it the last thing they want to do to take charge over their family. But guess what? It's their God-given role and function no matter how they feel. So many women are taking the role of spiritual leader in their families because they have no other choice; their husbands are absent spiritually and don't give God a 2nd thought. This should not be. And yay, for the women who are bold & brave enough to step up into that role despite the overwhelming burden of functioning as both parents!
We women can be the catalyst for change though. A book I have thoroughly enjoyed reading and using throughout the years of marriage is "The Power Of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Love that name. She has others that regard how to pray in different roles as well, which are also good. It gave me perspective on how to help my man become the husband and father I knew he could be. It wasn't through nagging or guilt. It was through prayer. It IS through prayer. One reason I can have peace in my marriage is because my husband doesn't feel threatened and on edge from my constant bickering and picking at him. And for those of you who know me, I'm HIGHLY critical by nature. This is no small task for me to hand the reigns to God and ask of Him to mold Monte into a great Christian man, husband & father. But it works! And works well.
There are so many scriptures on how we are to act in regards to our husbands. The most popular is probably in Ephesians 5:22-33 where Paul speaks on how we are to act towards each other as spouses and how it all relates to Christ's relationship to His bride, the church. This should be a beautiful and secure picture to women. We should be more than happy to submit to our husband's authority…as long as he submits to God's, right? Wrong. You submit to your husband even if he's an unbeliever unless he demands something unholy of you. This is one way he can be won over. More scripture. When we neglect to submit to our husbands, we are basically telling God that he got it all wrong and He can't possibly be serious in wanting us to submit to these men. You're essentially telling God that His plan stinks and you have to pick up your husband's slack or whatever. I can diagnose these problems as heart problems. Not the cardiac kind. The lack of Holy Spirit indwelling kind. Submitting to your husband is honorable and pleasing to God, who you husband also submits to. PLUS, your husband has a lofty charge that does NOT fall on your shoulders: loving you as he loves himself. He is to love as Christ who gave himself up for his bride, the church. When in scripture has God ever asked us ladies to do such? The answer - never. We are to submit to him, trusting that he will do what's best and knowing that he will be judged and held accountable by God, and we are to respect him. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Yes, Aretha. We love your song, but this is different. Respecting a man does something amazing inside of him. A man who is well respected by his wife can go anywhere and accomplish just about any great thing. YOU are a HUGE part of his success - at home, work, friendships, church, and the community. He always needs you as the biggest fan in his corner. And another integral part of your job is to come alongside him and be part of the process in figuring out what's best for your family. He may disagree, and that's on him if it's not a good choice. But men can handle it. It's their job.
We have such unique roles as husbands and wives. Just looking at the differences in our bodies should tell you that. And we have such an obligation to our husbands who deserve our best so they can be their best. Just because you submit to his authority doesn't mean you have to be a small minded, weak mouse of a woman. Trust me. He'll probably think it's sexy you have a brain that goes with your rocking' female bod! But he's the mouthpiece of your family. Let him speak and be heard. Respect who he is and who he can become. And by all means, PLEASE pray for the man. God can do much more good than you ever can with your human ways. Oh, and be sure to get frisky as often as he needs it. It's always good for an ego boost when his woman wants him. I've heard it said, "When you love what you do, you'll never work another day in your life." So true with my "job" as Monte's wife. So true. I love it. And wouldn't want it any other way. It's my job! :-)
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